If you haven’t called your mother yet, shame on you.

• I can’t withdraw $20 from an ATM without being asked to “confirm my request” so how does that option not exist when someone is trying to trade $15 billion million?
• Dear Newsweek, I used to race home to read your “Conventional Wisdom” but then you got a makeover. Now, my grandma is more pop-culture than you. That’s all.
• According to National Geographic, the only conclusive reason we need sleep is because we get sleepy. Captain Obvious 1, Science 0.
• I think most econ professors would die a little inside if they saw this NYT graph about the relationship between miles driven and gas prices, but I think it’s fantastically creative and illustrative.
• Internet (and, by Internet, I mean Lady Gaga) killed the MTV star.
• I loved/love watching the British elections for prime minister play out because I’m fascinated by functioning 3-party systems, but there are just too many ways to read this headline: “Labour majority ends with hung parliament”.
• Not only is the most recent Greek drama ruining the concept of the euro, but it turns out Apollo, the Greek sun god, could physically wipe out the global monetary system.
• Russians are getting kidnapped by aliens.

Video of the Week: Betty White deals with the Census. After popular demand, Betty White finally hosted SNL last night. I’m the only one of my friends who thought it was pee-your-pants hilarious, so I’m not sure what that means. But, as you can tell from below, she didn’t do too badly for an 88.5 year old woman.

Everyone seems to have taken one step forward and two steps back this week. It’s like studying for midterms: you muster all your energy to study all weekend only to discover there is so much you have yet to learn. It’s like finally meeting your dining hall crush: you now know their name but realize you still have to get their phone number and their friends’ approval.

• EDUCATION: Just as Obama promised sweeping education reforms in place of No Child Left Behind and new national standards, Texas proposed some changes of its own, like eliminating Thomas Jefferson and Hip-hop from history books. Does this mean that the Declaration of Independence doesn’t apply in Texas?
• MASSA: I don’t want to mention Massa, I really don’t [so insert unsettling jumble about Tickling, Harassment, Strategyand Secrets here]
• GOOGLE: Google may be giving in to China and shutting down Google.cn, but one international writer, racer and sex symbol is not.
• ISRAEL: Just a week after Israeli president Benjamin Natanyahu offended Vice President Joe Biden, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reprimanded him personally…via telephone…for 43 minutes.
• MEDICINE: Sometimes, medicine does what it’s supposed to do. Vaccines don’t give babies autism. Birth Control makes you live longer. And scientists can map your genes to pinpoint the source of genetic diseases.
• SUPREME COURT: The people of the Supreme Court have been generating a lot of news lately. Chief Justice John Roberts has come out against Obama. Clarence Thomas’s wife has joined the Tea Party. And Justice Stevens just wants to retire to Florida.
• COOPERATION: You know things are bad when France and Germany can come together to bailout Greece before Democrats and Republicans can even talk rationally about finance or health care.
• FASHION: Now that former power brokers are falling apart, those in the fashion industry are rising to the top of the wealth scale, shopping at department stores, buying $5,000 ostrich handbags and worshiping lines like Alexander McQueen’s AW2010 (posthumous), all because of the industry’s unique business model based on creativity and innovation and imitation. Welcome to a post-financial meltdown world.
• LADY GAGA: See Gaga’s newest music video, “Telephone” ft. Beyonce. [NSFW]

Video of the Week: “So That Means You Love Each Other.” If kids keep thinking like this one, even more cities will be like DC.

The production and subsequent popularity of the “Midd Kid” song shows there is an interest in unraveling the layers, peeking behind closed doors and glossy magazine pages to catch a glimpse of what life is really like. Here are a few articles worth reading this week that peer deeper into issues like poverty, big business and politics. But caution, as the “Midd Kid” song also shows, what is revealed is likely just one perspective, not the entirety, of the truth.

• DAVID & GOLIATH: Damian Kulash of OK GO finally explains why you can’t embed some YouTube videos on your blog, roughly how much money his band makes per stream and exactly how idiotic major record labels are in reality.
• TABLOIDS: John Edwards may not have helped the Democratic Party with his little affair, but he did help The National Enquirer, which is now in the running for a Pulitzer Prize for its coverage of the scandal.
• POVERTY: Speaking of Edwards, it looks like his message of the poor and “two Americas” may not have been off-base given that the recession has given a whole new meaning to being poor.
• CRIME: Poverty may be increasing, but crime is not. Is it because of abortion, Democrats, Republicans or jail?
• POLITICS: Senator Evan Bayh of Indian is leaving the Senate because it’s rampant partisanship makes it dysfunctional, but Arianna Huffinton says only the best changes are made under times that are “too partisan”. Who’s right and who has the extra agenda?
• CONSERVATIVES: It was easy to say that the Tea Party movement is just a fleeting political phenomenon, but the incendiary remarks of Glen Beck, caustic attacks on the Democratic Party by Ann Coulter, and presidential straw poll win of Ron Paul, all at CPAC this weekend, make one think that activism in the Republican Party is here to stay.
• FASHION: Sometimes, in the fashion world, there are geniuses like the late Alexander McQueen, but, for the most part, the fashion industry is shaped by women like Anna Dello Russo of VOGUE Japan and Li Edelkoort who have worked 15+ years not just predicting trends, but setting them as well.

Video of the Week: The Big Green Screen. Prepare yourself. I bet you  had no idea just how many outdoor scenes were filled against a green screen.

Why does Middlebury’s Dating Game never cease to be amusing (even if it is ineffective–I speak from experience)? The loaded questions and nervous laughter are always a hilarious form of Saturday night entertainment, as well as a painful reminder of how sexually repressed this college is. The fact that it occured on the 13th this year may have left some wondering what they are going to do now for the actual Valentine’s Day. So, whether your alone today or just killing time until dinner in Proctor with your Valentine, check out some these articles:

• LOVE: Don’t have a date this year for V-day? Try your luck next year with a personal ad, next year’s Dating Game or some handy-dandy “How-to” pages. (Yes, I did Google “How to get a date on Valentine’s Day.”)
• OLYMPICS: There’s more fear than love in Vancouver after one Olympic luge participant died during practice on opening day and as Canadians fear they might not win a medal.
• FASHION: The fashion world has had only loving things to say for British design icon Alexander McQueen who committed suicide on the first day of NY fashion week, a week that is starting to heat up as designers shed the limitations of recession-style thinking.
• GREECE: Aphrodite and Cupid are going to have a tough time making Europe fall back in love with Greece. Their debt could spell disaster of epic proportions for the euro-zone economy.
• WORDS: “Cellar Door” is one of the most beautiful words in the English language. Whisper that in your date’s ear to night. I dare you.
• VICE PRESIDENTS: Joe Biden sees no need to sugarcoat today more than it already is. The current Vice President is on a mission today to deride former Vice President Dick Cheney as much as possible on Sunday talk shows.
• EDUCATION: Language on Valentine’s Day can be a little suggestive, but it pales in comparison to the language some people want inserted into US history books in TX, like the fact that birth control is a form of “eugenics.”

Video of the Week: The re-recording of “We are the World” for the benefit of Haiti.

The randomness and absurdity of 2010 continues to astonish me. Cosmo models are winning elections. Movies about glorified smurfs are making millions. Bin Laden has returned. Kate Moss is getting married. Brad and Angelina might have split. Late night TV wars. James Franco everywhere. Whole countries basically disappearing. You get my point. It’s been a rough 3 weeks. Here are a few more examples:

• POLITICS: Since Scott Brown beat Martha Coakley for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat in Massachusetts, the Democratic party has been in turmoil, threatening the state of health care and Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner’s job futures. Also, John Edwards finally admitted he’s a Baby Daddy, proving that conservatives might be better at handling sex scandals. This week’s State of the Union address should be interesting.
• FASHION: It’s the year of the 1970′s skier and the amateur boxer. Check out the Men’s shows in Milan and Paris and the fringe shows in Berlin and Brazil. You’ll see me in Proctor in the mornings watching recaps on The Moment and LOVE.
• SUPREME COURT: In a (disturbing) decision this week that made Obama mad, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are…ummm…humans. This means they can spend as much on political campaigns as they want whenever they want. In future news, corporations will have to get parental consent before getting an abortion and will be eligible for health care.
• LATE NIGHT: It’s official. Conan has left NBC. For a petty sum of $32.5 million. At least one war is finally over.
• HAITI: It’s been over a week and thousands are still missing in Haiti. George Clooney hosted a telethon Friday night, along with a couple dozen of his celebrity friends and Apple, encouraging people to donate to relief efforts. Hopefully now that that’s done, we can get to rebuilding everything.
• DIAMONDS: The oceans on Uranus and Neptune are made of…wait for it…diamonds, liquid and frozen. How is that possible?
• MOVIES: This summer, Hulu may start charging for old episodes (so catch up on your favorites now). But that’s OK, because YouTube is going to start letting us rent both the movies you can already watch on it for free and wicked awesome indie flicks. In a related story, our movie ratings system is messed up.

Video of the week: “Hallelujah,” Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris @ the “Hope For Haiti Now” Telethon. Only Timberlake can make an ordinarily cliche song into something very moving.

On January 9, there was a 6.5 magnitude earthquake in Northern California. A 7.0 in Haiti on the 12th. A 5.9 in Venezuela and a 4.0 in Oklahoma on the 16th. And then a 6.3 this morning in Argentina. A quick glance at the USGS site reveals that earthquakes are actually ridiculously common. That doesn’t change the fact, however, that Haiti has been devastated and that 2010 is off to a shaky start.

• HAITI: Models, corporations, actors and presidents have given their full support to Haiti. But UN officials are still missing, looting is rampant, and the biggest casualty is the loss of its government. Now some are asking, were we too late? Should Haitians be allowed to start a new life somewhere else? Are news stations really capturing the suffering? Check out all the ways you can help online, via text, or give a few dollars to the people outside the dining halls.
• FRANCE: Sarkozy finally announced his support for banning the Muslim veil in France. Is this sexual equality or religious intolerance? Either way, 2010 is going to be a long year in France.
• BANKS: From bonuses to bailouts, America’s banking sector is still in shambles. But are we really surprised?
• GOOGLE: The Chinese government cyber assaulted Google this week, prompting the Internet giant to re-evaluate its Chinese business model. It makes sense that China would do this since Google controls people’s lives more than the government. But, was it really a good idea since Google controls people’s lives more than the government?
• SENATE: From Martha Coakley to Harold Ford, the Senate races in MA and NY are turning into episodes of Real Housewives of the Democratic Party. Expect a sequel to Game Changer by 2011.
• DOMINOS: Dominos pizza is changing their recipe. Pizza delivery will never be the same.
• PALIN: Palin debuted on FOX this week and will headline at the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America annual convention. I’m still trying to figure out who sold-out in both of these situations.
• VERMONT: 9 candidates for state office support secession from America. No comment.

Images  of the Week: Photos from the disaster via, Daily Beast, NYT and BBC. Warning: Some are quite graphic.

I don’t think there is anyone on campus. No one. At all. OK, so maybe there are 3 or 4 in the library, a few groups in the dining halls and some random clusters that form their own late night basement dance parties, but, really, where is everyone? Still abroad? Newly abroad? Still stranded in Newark? Just at home? Or are they hibernating in their dorms because, let’s face it, it’s wicked cold right now? Oh well, it doesn’t really matter because you don’t have to go outside to read any of these articles:

• TELEVISION: It’s like “Project Runway” over at NBC (or something from Advocate magazine). Is Leno in or is he out? And Conan? Jimmy? Also in television this week, “Lost” fans and Obama actually had to battle it out over who is going to own Groundhog Day this year. Wars all around.
• GOOGLE: Google made headlines this week with it’s new “Nexus One” phone, which has its problems, and because it’s going to face more taxes in France, probably because it’s the #1 word in the English language.
• REALITY: This week, Giuliani tried to claim that there were no domestic terror attacks when G.W. Bush was president. Umm…Fortunately, the NYT punches us back to reality this morning with four heavy-hitting, reality-checking editorials on China, Women, Obama and Financial Weapons of Mass Destruction. Hello 2010.
• POLIO: There are 2 very disturbing things about the idea that the Taliban is helping to fight the spread of polio. First, that the Taliban is cooperating with anyone. Second, that polio still even exists. Just proves that, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing.
• STAYING WARM: For the best tips on how to stay warm, check out Lifehacker, The Daily Beast and GQ. Food seems to be a recurring theme in all of these articles. Works for me.
• GAY MARRIAGE: Since mid-December, Mexico and Portugal have approved gay marriage while New Jersey shot it down. Typical. Now, some Republicans are defending Prop. 8 in court and want it to be on YouTube.
• BOOKS: Looks like Sarah Palin started a trend. For the next decade,  political tell-alls and memoirs are going to be the new fiction must-reads. RNC Chair Michael Steele can’t remember when he wrote his. Jenny Sanford, whose husband went hiking in the Adirondacks this year, probably has nothing nice to say. Elizabeth Edwards apparently really did live in hell on earth. And Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said some not very PC things about Obama.When will Dodd publish his?

Video of the Week: The security breach in Newark last Sunday just turned out to be a Rutgers student who, excited at having a real woman for a girlfriend, wanted to kiss her goodbye. Dude, everyone knows all things “Love Actually” related must come before the holidays.